The aesthetic obsession: When ordinary isn't enough anymore

There was a time when coffee was just coffee. You woke up, poured it into whatever cup was clean, drank it half-asleep and went on with your day. Now? Your coffee needs to have the right cup, the right foam, the right lighting, and preferably a tiny flower next to it.

Suddenly, studying needs an aesthetic desk. University needs to feel like a coming-of-age movie. A restaurant needs a minimalist menu and a photogenic plate. Even going for a walk can become a “hot girl walk.” Somewhere along the way, ordinary life became something we were expected to aestheticize.

University, but make it a movie

University used to be about lectures, assignments, questionable cafeteria food and desperately trying to remember what your professor said five minutes ago.

Now, university has an aesthetic.

There are “back to school” Pinterest boards, perfectly organized notes, tote bags, iced coffees, laptops covered in stickers and carefully planned outfits for a 9 a.m. lecture. Study videos have turned studying into a lifestyle of its own. Suddenly, doing three hours of work looks like candles, classical music, a clean desk, color-coded notes and a matcha latte.

And there is nothing wrong with making your surroundings enjoyable. In fact, romanticizing university can make stressful days feel a little more exciting. “I actually like the whole aesthetic university thing,” says Tara. “When I dress nicely and have a cute setup, I feel more motivated. It makes something boring feel more exciting.”

But there is a catch.

When your real university experience doesn't look like the one on your screen, it can feel strangely disappointing. Your desk is messy. Your notes aren't pretty. You're tired. You skipped breakfast. Your professor assigned 40 pages. And suddenly, you're not just struggling with university. You're struggling with the fact that your university experience doesn't look aesthetic enough.

When food became content

Coffee isn't just coffee anymore. It comes with the right cup, soft lighting, a beautiful café, maybe a tiny flower on the table and, of course, the perfect photo.

Restaurants are playing the same game. Menus are designed to look good, plates are arranged like art, and even the interiors seem made for Instagram. Before taking the first bite, someone inevitably says, “Wait, I need a picture.”

“Sometimes I definitely choose a café because it looks nice,” admits Sandy. “Even if the coffee is average, I like the atmosphere. I think part of what you're paying for is the experience and how it makes you feel.”

Cafés and restaurants know exactly what they're selling. Sometimes, you're not paying for a $7 drink or an expensive brunch; you're paying for the feeling of being the person who goes there. The atmosphere, the aesthetic and the story you get to post have quietly become part of the product. We don't just ask, “Does it taste good?” anymore. We ask, “Will it look good on my story?”

Even birthdays need an aesthetic

Remember when a birthday was simply a birthday?

You bought a cake, invited your friends, took a few blurry pictures and called it a day. Now, apparently, turning another year older requires a concept. There is a color palette. A dress code. Matching balloons. A cake that has to be photographed from at least six different angles. A carefully decorated table. Maybe a flower arrangement. Definitely a photo wall.

Birthdays, graduations, gender reveals, dinners and even casual gatherings are increasingly designed with the camera in mind. We don't just plan an event around what will be fun anymore; we think about what will look good in the photos.

“I think birthdays have become a little stressful because everything has to match,” says Jenny. “You don't just want to have a nice birthday anymore. You want the cake, decorations, outfit and pictures to all look perfect. Sometimes you spend more time documenting the birthday than enjoying it.”

There is nothing wrong with wanting a beautiful birthday. Getting dressed up, decorating a cake or choosing a theme can genuinely make an occasion feel special. But somewhere between celebrating the moment and documenting it, the camera became an uninvited guest at every event. And suddenly, an event can feel incomplete if it isn't post-worthy.

Your life in stories

And the aesthetic doesn't stop when the event ends. Our phones have become part of the performance too.

We customize our home screens, match our wallpapers to our widgets, carefully curate our feeds and think twice before posting a story that might “ruin the vibe.” The supposedly spontaneous coffee picture may have taken ten attempts.

“I've definitely deleted a story because it didn't match the rest of my feed,” admits Mia. “It's funny because nobody else probably cares, but I care. I like my Instagram to have a certain look because it feels like an extension of my personality.”

We don't just live moments anymore; we often think about how they'll look later. A vacation becomes a carousel, a birthday becomes a story, and a dinner becomes content. Taking pictures isn't the problem. But when every moment has to be beautiful, curated and post-worthy, we risk forgetting that some of life's best moments were never meant to look perfect.

Who decided everything has to be pretty?

Maybe the problem isn't aesthetics themselves.

There is something genuinely lovely about making your surroundings beautiful. Wearing an outfit that makes you feel confident, decorating your room, choosing a pretty notebook or going somewhere because you love the atmosphere can make everyday life more enjoyable.

The problem begins when aesthetics stop being a form of expression and become a requirement. When you feel like your room needs to look Pinterest-worthy. When your body needs to fit a certain aesthetic. When your relationship needs to look perfect. When your university life needs to resemble a Netflix series. When even your morning routine feels like a performance.

Because life isn't always pretty. Sometimes your coffee is in a chipped mug. Sometimes your room is a disaster. Sometimes studying means sitting on the floor surrounded by papers and eating yesterday's leftovers. Sometimes the restaurant is ugly but the food is incredible. Sometimes you have absolutely no aesthetic. That's life.